From the sublime to the ridiculous

I should be allowed to hibernate.

The sadness starts to float away like clouds dispersing after a storm.

Sometimes you just need the right words to get yourself going again.
Even if the whole world feels like you let them down
(or you assume this to be the case,
because – quite honestly – you’re fucking cruel to yourself
in a way that no-one else could ever bring themselves to be),
a moment of kindness from a stranger
might be all you need to hold your head high again.

I’ll walk around with my eyes closed so I don’t have to see your disappointment.

I fucked myself up
repeatedly.
There is no romance in this.
Purposeful suffering is ridiculous.
Switch your mind off, girl.
Stop doing this to yourself.

I never paid attention to how many hearts I broke
with my self-inflicted misery.
I thought their sadness was because I wasn’t trying hard enough.

I wanted to create something beautiful
and I was willing to destroy myself to do so.
It sounds easy enough, but it’s even easier to ruin everything
and have nothing to show for it.

Create the beauty first.
Then let it blow you away.

I have been asleep.

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