False alarm’s length

I got this one wrong. Turns out
You were right all along.
And I don’t care what you say
To anyone about me.
Just get the story straight.
Please.

Even the most delicate,
Fragile, pathetic little ego
Can sometimes convince itself
That someone might care,
Making it a much harder slap in the face
When it turns out that, in fact,
They don’t.

Maybe I’ll bump into you one day.
Stranger things have happened
To me
And they would to you too, but
You just can’t see it –
You don’t feel enough.
So I’m writing it down
Because it’s the closest you’re ever going to get.

(But if I do it right,
Then that’s pretty fucking close.)

You struck me like a match
And it’s the spark
That brings the flames.
I should have prepared you better.

It’s a trick of the light; an illusion.
I would never have let you get burnt.

My thoughts and feelings are currently coated in white powder
From the fire extinguisher that you set off in my face.

I need some new friction
To drag my head across.

Feel free to choose the song
With which you will play yourself out.

22 comments on “False alarm’s length

  1. Thank you for this, it reminds me so much of how I used to be. My ego is no longer fragile and vulnerable. I no longer have an irrational fear of abandonment. I don’t have to chase after someone who does not care for me, and never will. If they do not feel as I feel, or feel enough of the things I feel for them, then I can just walk away. At least, now I can just walk away.

    • Thank you for your comment. I’m really glad it was something you were able to overcome – I always think I have, until it happens again and I start chasing! I’m better than I used to be, so hopefully one day I won’t be so fragile either.

  2. Beuatifully sad, K – I hope you’re okay.

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