A certain type of person

You need to tell me what to write. I have a lot of posts in draft, and nothing is getting published. I start writing too late at night and then what starts off as a great idea ends up terrible and I get too tired to fix it. I need to sort the whole blog out. There are many things I need to do, actually. I keep putting my whole life off.

Maybe I really should just run away and become a travelling saleswoman. It’s a shame that doesn’t have as nice a ring to it as ‘travelling salesman’ does. What would I sell? No idea. I’ll figure that out on the way. I’ll have plenty of time, seeing as I’ll have to travel by train.

It’s 2.25am again. When I had my old blog, all of my posts were started at this kind of time in the morning. The dawn chorus would start up mid-sentence. Back then, I was less fussy. I was more interested in writing something. It didn’t matter much what that something was, just so long as there was a record of a thought I had on a particular time and day. So, kind of like Twitter.

Trouble is, this is the only time I get any peace. I sacrifice sleep for yet more time to waste.

One of the best times for ideas to come to you is that moment when you’re just drifting off to sleep. So, you see, what I do is force myself to hit that point while I’m writing. I write until I’m drowsy. And nothing makes much sense to me, and in the morning I can’t even remember what I’ve written, but sometimes I look back at it and wonder how the hell all the words managed to fall together so beautifully. Other times… I give up before the night is done and add more words to the ‘later’ pile.

And then there are times like tonight, when I get halfway through and realise the drugs aren’t working and I’m going to sleep on my keyboard. I’m only going to publish this because I want to give you something to read in the morning and I’m not sure if you’d be more disappointed about a terrible post or about no post at all.

I want to waste my time with you. My dream self says ‘hi’.
I want to write down every single one of your thoughts and keep them safe with me forever.

0 comments on “A certain type of person

  1. Not a terrible post at all. I already talked a bit about my love for writing. It seems obvious because…well we write. Xp I say in regards to telling you what to write, I can not do that. That is for you to decide (even when you can’t). I can say listen to your soul…just write. Quite often things I write which seem elaborately planned are simply made up along the way. I often just free write. I have no clue what I’m going to write before I put it down.

    With my present blog, everything has a meaning and many things in many posts have secret messages or hidden meanings, but I don’t necessarily know what I’m about to write when I post.

    I hit the new post button, put the Entry number and start typing, letting my mind and soul carry me from there. Everyone writes in their own way, never worry about how a post is going to turn out. There are posts I’ve written that I think are shit, but quite often, wind up being the ones other souls seem to appreciate the most.

    Right now if I post something in poetry format, that seems to be what my audience loves most. This is good and bad, as I’m experimenting in the way I’m telling the story on my blog which requires multiple methods of writing and subsequent storytelling.

    These posts all have meaning, many multiple, and all will tie in to future posts in some way at some point in time, and some into past posts, yet I get some souls simply reading the poetry only. It works but it makes things difficult on the readers who do that in terms of understanding.

    I digress…

    I will stop here and tell you I hope your early morning is treating you well, and never stop writing. Whether you feel it is good, bad, or completely ugly, I guarantee some other soul out there will find it inspiring, love it, and probably think it is the best thing since coffee! 😉

    Cheers! 🙂

    • I used to write like that on my old blog, and I think the reason for the change this time is because I’ve been studying so I’ve been doing a lot more academic writing – and I really enjoyed (most of) it! So I wanted to incorporate the two styles; pick a topic, write an essay, but give it a little less formality and a little more heart.

      If I free-write, I lose all structure – although things like hidden meanings tend to find themselves being written in almost by accident. Which is great… I want to find a good balance between the two. And I have the same issues; people seem to prefer my poetry-type stuff and they like the stuff I think is fucking awful!

      The only thing I really worry about is the length of posts. The stories have been getting longer and longer, although the last couple I wrote have been tying up loose ends so there wasn’t ever going to be a natural break halfway through or something. I just worry people will see the word count and think ‘Fuck reading all that…’!

      And thank you – I think it’s impossible for me to truly stop writing, so your words are wonderfully encouraging! x

      • The word count…yeah. Part of the reason I write the way I do in this blog is partially due to that. People, (sad as it is) will look at something with a huge word count and say just that. Nope, I’m not reading something that long! Xp

        I’ve discovered this and while I would love to say they should, the fact remains, there is a lot to read and in life in general so I don’t really fault them. I find myself trying to keep up with (as best as possible) just about everyone’s blogs. As you follow more people or if you are simply busy in life, that becomes impossible. At the very least it becomes a much slower process.

        So often I will try to read the longer stuff but I will take a much longer time doing so. I may not get to a blog that frequently has long posts (exception being yours) for a few days here and there and then only read a post if it is too long. The exception being only when I find something someone is writing (completely engaging) which is when I will comment regularly.

        Life is busy as I know you know. I wish I had all the time in the world to read everything, everyone posted, and to comment back. No seriously, if I could make a living doing that, I would. Xp I’m no Editor though, and I imagine that job probably leaves little free time and I value time over money in most cases.

        I like how you are mixing styles and the heart and soul you put into each post shows. I can generally feel it when I read. Keep up the amazing work! 😉

  2. Post what you write. Even if it is unfinished and something you may not feel is perfect. I am sure we will all have gained from just reading it.

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