We need to talk about your flair

Maybe I’m naïve. Maybe it’s because I still can’t really tell if I’m meant to call myself agnostic or humanist. I joined the Humanists but they sent me a badge that had Happy Without God written on it, and although I am pretty happy without a deity I felt as though that might upset someone if I wore it out. I don’t really like upsetting people who haven’t done anything to deserve it.

Everyone wants to upset everyone else though, it seems. People think it’s perfectly fine to hate entire groups of people based on their religion, and as long as they qualify their statements by saying that it’s definitely not racist because Islam isn’t a race (let’s face it, you knew what I was talking about) then it’s perfectly acceptable. It really isn’t.

My dad is racist. Fortunately I’ve never had to live with him, so I never saw the worst of it but he used to tell me things like “I don’t care who you end up with as long as he’s not black or on the dole”. Yeah… He’d say these things during my weekend visits where he’d be drunk and stoned the whole time and hanging out with creepy weirdos who made lewd comments about me when I was super underage and all of these things were okay because as long as you’re white and British then it was all good.

It wasn’t good. I was scared of my dad. I don’t think he knows.

Emotive shit aside, it was the anger that scared me. How could you be angry at someone for existing just because of the colour of their skin? It makes little sense to me. You might as well yell at the sky for all the good it’ll do. Same with beliefs. I completely understand the work the Humanists do to stop religious stuff being incorporated into places where it ought not be, but when it gets pushed that little bit further and I’m actively antagonising people with badges (I may be a bit oversensitive about the badge) then I feel like I’m venturing into somewhere I have no business being.

To be honest, I don’t really believe in anything. I ignore it when religious stuff gets inflicted on me because I’m usually doing it for someone who considers it important to them and I generally either find it interesting because it’s not something I usually do, or I do it and forget about it because it’s meaningless to me. You know what I really think though? I think that science is magic. I think it has more meaning than we give it. Many, many things we couldn’t explain used to be attributed to something supranormal, but now we can explain them we don’t see anything interesting anymore. We’re looking at the arse-end of space and you lunatics are arguing about the most ridiculous things. Who cares if that guy thinks space was created by a deity. Stop fighting and look at the stars.

Stop generalising. Stop doing it to everyone, about everything. Go and listen to people. Yeah, most of them are boring and to be honest most people have at least one obnoxious opinion – just find the ones who know better than to share it because at least they know deep down that they’re most likely wrong. Stop thinking it’s okay to be horrible to people who have beliefs because you’re an atheist and you think that makes you better, somehow. And for fuck’s sake, stop hating innocent people. Hate terrorists, hate dickheads.

Should we hate people like my Dad? One of the last times I ever saw him, a black family had moved in over the road and his response was to stick a BNP sticker in the window. Because of this, and various other tests of my patience that I finally couldn’t bear any longer, I haven’t spoken to him in a decade. I don’t need to, because he won’t have changed, because the world has gotten scarier and all he has to shield himself is really faulty psychological defence mechanisms. And these kinds of people won’t analyse themselves or their behaviour. I can tell them why they think the way they do, but that will do nothing. I can’t offer comfort. And they are so full of hate that it scares me.

So maybe I am naïve, but I just think that if you spend your whole life being angry at something out of your control that is never going to change then maybe, if you get five minutes, you should just have a think about why it bothers you so much and what all the hatred is really going to achieve.

Those are some terrible thoughts that you are trapped with, friend.

0 comments on “We need to talk about your flair

  1. Well said. It would be nice if more souls thought like this. If more people loved and cared about one another and didn’t get lost in generalizations or the color of someone’s skin, their beliefs etc.

    Wise words.

    • Thank you. We’re all the same, we all come from the same place… It just seems ridiculous to focus on the differences instead of the many, many similarities.

      • I couldn’t agree more. I have never truly understood why people hate…at least over silly things. To me hating someone for their religious beliefs, skin color, etc…it is just silly. It is not fair minded, and in many ways always feels to me like hate for the sake of hate.

        Then again, in many cases, hate over such things derives from fear. Irrational fear usually, but fear nonetheless. Fear is a powerful thing. You don’t understand something, surely it must be evil right?

        Obviously that isn’t right, but it is common for people to fear what they don’t understand and for that to perpetuate senseless hate.

        At any rate, the world is such as it is. While many people won’t change their hateful viewpoint, I like to think if you can make a single soul see or feel kindness. Show them you care, then perhaps you can change that life for the better.

        Perhaps they pass that along. I know much of this is often wishful thinking but treat others as you wish to be treated is something that holds so much truth, it amazes me society doesn’t simply abide by such. People come from different families, backgrounds, lives. I’m sure someone growing up in an abusive household has a much stronger chance of continuing said abuse later in life to those they supposedly love.

        I also know though, that there are those that rise above such things despite their upbringings. I think that there are kind souls out there and people that rise above is a good thing, and a small hope. Sometimes that is all you need. I’m making a lengthy enough comment though, apologies. Cheers! ^_^

        • Don’t apologise, it’s great! I agree with everything you’ve said, it’s definitely all based on fear and the only way to overcome that is with kindness and love. Which is damn hard when people act in such awful ways to each other… But if we concentrate on ourselves, perhaps we can spread that to everyone else.
          Pretty much everyone in my family is/was either outright racist, or casually racist. Banal racism, I guess. But it doesn’t take much to overcome that kind of upbringing. Just a bit of thoughtfulness 🙂

          • Well I’m glad we can agree. Kindness does wonders in my opinion. In today’s world a lot of people see kindness as weakness and not a means to live. Truth is, being kind, especially in today’s world is showing far more strength than someone who just manipulates and uses some diabolical method or means to attain what they wish in life.

          • Me too 🙂 It definitely sucks that kindness is seen as a fault. I see such little compassion in people… It’s awful. I’m nowhere near as kind as I wish I was, but some people don’t even recognise that much about themselves. And being diabolical is easier than having to give a fuck, unfortunately.

          • Yes, I suppose it is easier to be cold and calculating in order to get what you want as opposed to trying to do things honestly. Part of that is the world I think. Honesty, quite often doesn’t get people ahead. It doesn’t usually lead to someone succeeding in the sense they may wish too, or if it does, it takes much longer, the road is more treacherous.

            Still, even if we don’t attain what we wish or even don’t attain what we think we need in life, I believe it better to live as honestly as possible. I am no holier than thou soul. I sin as anyone does, and I make mistakes. I have learned much from life from making some serious mistakes. Still they make me who I am today because I learned from them. Although in some cases it took a few times…I’m stubborn by nature. 😉

          • I think it’s probably one of those things that works astoundingly well at first, and then they get in the habit of being that way and then they have a reputation and an identity to maintain – although some people are brought up around people acting that way, so they learn by example.

            Oh, I sin all the bloody time and make mistakes constantly! Sometimes I learn something, sometimes not. But there’s a difference between mischief and spite. And life is much easier if you live honestly (I imagine).

          • You imagine…yeah, I can see that. I used to be a heinous liar! Not for any real reason at first. Hell, I wasn’t even sure why I did it. It kind of came naturally to me, and I noticed people would often fall for the things I said or did. So you are on point about it becoming habitual. I kind of just grew up doing it though, which was odd because my family was super nice and pretty religious.

            They taught me not to lie, and did what parents typically do to try and raise a kid right.

            I once got out of a huge debt simply by lying. I think part of it was the rush! It was so exhilarating lying about things, manipulating people. I wasn’t diabolical about it or anything. I just used it to get out of many a situation. I stopped that after a near life time of doing it. It took a long time and a ton of willpower. I’m aware I’m still able to do it. If I ever resort to lying though now…it is for survivals sake or for a very good reason.

            I grew up a pretty strange anomaly. A good kid, great parents, super manipulative, yet would go way out of my way to help others. I didn’t like people all that much and yet people liked me. So I know about being a lying manipulative bastard from past experience.

            Eventually life made me make a choice, and so I chose life, if you will.

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